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Post by xLilac Vixen on Dec 19, 2010 2:35:11 GMT -5
Rising high, coming low, The sun sets, that's all we know. My life had turned upside down, My heritage without a crown. Though my heart had disgrace and remorse, My terrible trouble had run it's course. I must be brave, against my fears, To fight these continuing, growing tears.
The sun had set, the sky was blue, Nala stayed by my side, I wish it were true, Though all good things must come to an end, And new beginnings around the bend. The good things, in truth, were actually bad, These have left me nothing but sad. My friend had left, glancing back, I felt my heart shatter in one crack. Now I face my punishment bold, Though no honor I do hold.
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My short poem I wrote from Simba's perspective when he walks home with Nala to face his punishment. Truth be told, it's one of the poems I didn't really like, but I hope it was enjoyable to you all. The sentances grew kind of long and I had to repeat them to myself several times to make sure it sounded okay, so please let me know if it got kind of long. As always, constructive criticism is welcome. (:
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Post by Kopa23 on Dec 19, 2010 2:51:56 GMT -5
I usually don't like poems, but this time it was different.. I loved your poem! It rhythmes and you described everything from Simba's prespective perfectly.
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Post by xLilac Vixen on Dec 19, 2010 2:57:12 GMT -5
I usually don't like poems, but this time it was different.. I loved your poem! It rhythmes and you described everything from Simba's prespective perfectly. Wow, I feel really honoured that you actually liked my poem! And yes, perspective poems are very fun to create; you should try it sometime. (:
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Post by WildSimba on Dec 20, 2010 1:45:31 GMT -5
Wow. I absolutely love this poem. It's so vivid, and descriptive, and definately really captures the moment that cub Simba is going through.
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